There is new language in town and it is called Shanglish. It's a unique blend if shanghainese (what Shanghai-born Chinese speak) and English. Our Ayi speaks Mandarin and Shangainese as her native tongues and knows a little english. We communicate most by an app called WeChat for important things because it allows both us to translate into our texts to our native tongues. We also use Pleco, a great dictionary translator app and we pantomime. Really improving my skills for charades.
She knows the important words: sleep, poop, no, stop, be careful, hot, hold hand to name a few. After nearly 5 months of spending time with our family she has started a new dialect called Shanglish. In learning words as she talks to our daughter she says things like "Ayi cooka", "baby showera", "mama goa" and "baby poopa". I noticed it the other afternoon when our son was talking to the Ayi and he said "Ayi no cleana my toysa upa".
Can I add this language to me resume upon our return? Or is it more like pig latin? In the meantime, our daughter is now speaking English, Mandarin, Shanghainese and Shanglish.
Saturday, October 31, 2015
Helter Skelter
Halloween basically comes from Ireland. It is a Celtic holiday that was to ward of ghosts (*thanks to google for the information). How did it blow up to be such an American sensation with candy, costumes and goblens galore. Pumpkins and apple cider are at least autumnal. Western Christians brought the holiday to America and over time it has become what it is today and apparently what it is in Asia.
Below are some highlights of the holiday being marked here in Shanghai.
Below are some highlights of the holiday being marked here in Shanghai.
Thursday, October 29, 2015
Hasidic Chinese
I feel like I am living in a little bit of bizzaro world. I come from a culture where we are told to be fruitful and multiple, something my father felt was important to remind us it is our job as Jewish people. I am not surprised of my friends who come from 6,7,9, even 13 siblings. The rabbi here in Shanghai is 1 of 17! His mother is truly a woman of valor.
In China everyone seems to know of the governments strict one-kid policy. I recently learned that local hospitals still don't reveal the gender of the baby to the parents fearing it's a girl they will abort and try for a boy. I have met a few Chinese people from smaller villages and cities that come from larger families 2, 3 and 4 siblings. They are few and far between. The rules are getting more lenient in some cities, Shanghai being one of them, they are allowing people to have 2 kids. But if you have twins then the twins are only allowed to have 1 child when they are adults.
Such a different world than I come from. Here we are with one boy and one girl. Thank god, we have healthy children, I do not take that for granted for one second. When locals see us they tell is we have the "perfect family", one boy and one girl. They don't ask when is the next one coming, will you have more. We are the perfect Hasidic Chinese family. When I see Chinese families with two girls or two boys I wonder what they are thinking about their family gender layout. Or when I see pregnant women thinking this is their only experience they are allowed to have being pregnant (some might say they are lucky).
With no government dictating our family planning and avoiding the social pressures of having more I will enjoy my Hasidic Chinese family.
*credit for this blog inspiration goes to my friend Jodi F. who is enjoying her
Hasidic Chinese-American family with 2 boys in NYC.
In China everyone seems to know of the governments strict one-kid policy. I recently learned that local hospitals still don't reveal the gender of the baby to the parents fearing it's a girl they will abort and try for a boy. I have met a few Chinese people from smaller villages and cities that come from larger families 2, 3 and 4 siblings. They are few and far between. The rules are getting more lenient in some cities, Shanghai being one of them, they are allowing people to have 2 kids. But if you have twins then the twins are only allowed to have 1 child when they are adults.
Such a different world than I come from. Here we are with one boy and one girl. Thank god, we have healthy children, I do not take that for granted for one second. When locals see us they tell is we have the "perfect family", one boy and one girl. They don't ask when is the next one coming, will you have more. We are the perfect Hasidic Chinese family. When I see Chinese families with two girls or two boys I wonder what they are thinking about their family gender layout. Or when I see pregnant women thinking this is their only experience they are allowed to have being pregnant (some might say they are lucky).
With no government dictating our family planning and avoiding the social pressures of having more I will enjoy my Hasidic Chinese family.
*credit for this blog inspiration goes to my friend Jodi F. who is enjoying her
Hasidic Chinese-American family with 2 boys in NYC.
Acupuncuture, Cupping, Endermolgie Massage and more...
Everything is an experience here. Going to the supermarket, getting your hair blown out, crossing the street. Today I had a first, something I never knew existed until I came to China, endermolgie. I've had acupuncture, massages and I know Gwyneth Paltrow was into cupping at time. Today I went with a friend to the Manicure Market. I've been to the fabric market, the shoe market, the knock-off market but a manicure market? For 10RMB, which is about $1.50 you can get a manicure and for 60RMB ($9.20) you can get a gel manicure.
But I digress. A friend took me today to a place that had a package and the deal came out to about 80RMB a time. We figured even if the endermolgie doesn't work we get a good massage out of the time.
Endermolgie gist is to rid your body of cellulite and tighten the skin in your body. The clinicians in the States claim 6-10 treatments and you'll see long lasting results (not forever but long lasting). Heck I was in it for the experience. What it really felt like? It was like taking a round hair diffuser and attaching it to a vacuum and pressing really hard around your area of interest, whether it be your thighs, stomach or butt. It felt like a different kind of massage.
I almost forgot one of the highlights! They use an oil that, when rubbed into your skin with the above machine, makes your body feel like it's on fire. My friend described it as feeling spicy. I choose on fire. When they are complete with the vacuuming and rubbing they wrap your legs in saran wrap and send you home. We are supposed to remove the saran wrap after and hour.
Many of you are probably asking, why would someone pay for this? and for multiple encounters? I do not know but by the time we left there was a line of woman waiting for their appointments and watching mine as it was happening (because we are in the manicure market and they just had curtain for privacy and all the treatment tables are in same room).
Needless to say my legs look like were hit by dozen tennis balls. Below is a picture of on-lookers waiting their turn and of the treatment advertised online.
But I digress. A friend took me today to a place that had a package and the deal came out to about 80RMB a time. We figured even if the endermolgie doesn't work we get a good massage out of the time.
Endermolgie gist is to rid your body of cellulite and tighten the skin in your body. The clinicians in the States claim 6-10 treatments and you'll see long lasting results (not forever but long lasting). Heck I was in it for the experience. What it really felt like? It was like taking a round hair diffuser and attaching it to a vacuum and pressing really hard around your area of interest, whether it be your thighs, stomach or butt. It felt like a different kind of massage.
I almost forgot one of the highlights! They use an oil that, when rubbed into your skin with the above machine, makes your body feel like it's on fire. My friend described it as feeling spicy. I choose on fire. When they are complete with the vacuuming and rubbing they wrap your legs in saran wrap and send you home. We are supposed to remove the saran wrap after and hour.
Many of you are probably asking, why would someone pay for this? and for multiple encounters? I do not know but by the time we left there was a line of woman waiting for their appointments and watching mine as it was happening (because we are in the manicure market and they just had curtain for privacy and all the treatment tables are in same room).
Needless to say my legs look like were hit by dozen tennis balls. Below is a picture of on-lookers waiting their turn and of the treatment advertised online.
Wednesday, October 28, 2015
Peak-a-BOO!!
Believe it or not, Shanghai celebrates Halloween. I am a little surprised as I really thought it was a Hallmark Holiday. Maybe it's the all the ex-pats that brought the celebration over here but China has seemed to embrace the festivities pumpkins, ghosts, candy and all. In a city of 24 million Chinese I can't believe the impact this small community has in the larger scale of the population that it is marketed in stores, restaurants and salons.
The British based school our son is in his having a "Pumpkin-palooza" Friday with a concert and fair to celebrate. It seems autumn (as my 4.5 calls it not, not fall) has arrived over night. We have been enjoying a long summer with warm temperatures but overnight the temperature has dropped and the puffy coats are out. Guess we are catching up with the cold in the States. Tis the seasons (says the girl who went to college in Miami).
It is funny to observe the weather exaggerators here in China. It has literally be 24 hours of cooler weather and the hats, fleece and puffy coats are out. It's that in-between where it's cold in the morning, warms up and at dusk it cools down again. Now quiet flip flops but definitely not shorts? The Chinese have taken it to a new level, scooter jackets, hand mufflers it's quiet the scene. A seasoned expat (no pun intended) told me that it'll rain for 2-3 days and the cold comes with that rain. Rain is in the forecast tomorrow....
The British based school our son is in his having a "Pumpkin-palooza" Friday with a concert and fair to celebrate. It seems autumn (as my 4.5 calls it not, not fall) has arrived over night. We have been enjoying a long summer with warm temperatures but overnight the temperature has dropped and the puffy coats are out. Guess we are catching up with the cold in the States. Tis the seasons (says the girl who went to college in Miami).
It is funny to observe the weather exaggerators here in China. It has literally be 24 hours of cooler weather and the hats, fleece and puffy coats are out. It's that in-between where it's cold in the morning, warms up and at dusk it cools down again. Now quiet flip flops but definitely not shorts? The Chinese have taken it to a new level, scooter jackets, hand mufflers it's quiet the scene. A seasoned expat (no pun intended) told me that it'll rain for 2-3 days and the cold comes with that rain. Rain is in the forecast tomorrow....
Sunday, October 25, 2015
Simply Misearble
I was listening to a TED talk the other morning called Simply Happy from February 14, 2014. Basically they discussed what makes people happy today and how every seems to be searching to be happier. One of the speakers said how we are a society of "now now now" and we work fast and hard for a quicker reward which we think will lead to us being happier. The people in the panel came to the conclusion that if we simply slow down we will enjoy life more and ultimately be happier.
The ideas of "now now now" and slowing down got me thinking. My mom is a very experienced woman. Being a licensed mental health professional, an all around awesome mom and laid back person she once told me just because someone writes you an email, text message or calls does not mean you have to respond right away. She is right, just because the email or text that is coming in right now is urgent to someone else does not mean it is urgent for me. But we are in this cycle of as soon as you get an email we have to respond so our inbox is clear. Taking this suggestion I have slowed down with technology. While I am still on my phone much of the time, I am trying to be as resourceful and productive for myself that I can be (yes, playing Words with Friends and Candy Crush help with my productivity).
As for the idea of slowing down, I feel like living in China our life has slowed a bit. For no particular reason, work is the same, the kids are the same, perhaps living in a foreign country is enough to slow anyone down, even with 24 million people in the city. Day to day I don't have this sense of urgency to get everything done right away. I actually have time to workout and take my time and not rush home to turn around and rush to school pick up. I have more time to read, watch Netflix, face time AND to be with my kids AND be relaxed about it.
My brother 3G was telling us a story this summer how he was talking with a friend in shul on shabbat and the friend had kids in middle school and high school. My brother was commenting how it's nice to be with the kids on shabbat afternoon but sometimes it's long and there is no time to rest or nap. The friend said to my brother how he wished he had that time on shabbat afternoon with his kids now his kids are older and out playing at friends houses and never home. It's like "future 3G" was talking to 3G to remind him to enjoy this time now.
In the TED talk someone tells a story about how he had young kids and they woke up every morning at 6am He and his wife were taking turns with the early morning wake up but getting tired still. The husband said he decided to change his perspective of the early morning situation. He started taking the kids out to the local coffee shop at 6am and coming back at 7am. He found after 2 weeks of changing his routine and his mental space for the early mornings he was in a better mood and enjoyed the early mornings with his kids rather than dreading it. He said that there will be a time when his kids will sleep till 10am or 11am and not want to spend time with him so he wanted to appreciate the time now.
This made me happy. If you slow down and really think about how you spend your time you may even enjoy it more. Hearing these ideas have made me appreciate the slowed down time here in Shanghai. It has allowed me to really enjoy the time with my kids more and find the time to do something for me and worry less about else I should be doing or even could be doing here. We live in this society where we constantly have to be doing something or going and if we are not than we are not productive.
The ideas of "now now now" and slowing down got me thinking. My mom is a very experienced woman. Being a licensed mental health professional, an all around awesome mom and laid back person she once told me just because someone writes you an email, text message or calls does not mean you have to respond right away. She is right, just because the email or text that is coming in right now is urgent to someone else does not mean it is urgent for me. But we are in this cycle of as soon as you get an email we have to respond so our inbox is clear. Taking this suggestion I have slowed down with technology. While I am still on my phone much of the time, I am trying to be as resourceful and productive for myself that I can be (yes, playing Words with Friends and Candy Crush help with my productivity).
As for the idea of slowing down, I feel like living in China our life has slowed a bit. For no particular reason, work is the same, the kids are the same, perhaps living in a foreign country is enough to slow anyone down, even with 24 million people in the city. Day to day I don't have this sense of urgency to get everything done right away. I actually have time to workout and take my time and not rush home to turn around and rush to school pick up. I have more time to read, watch Netflix, face time AND to be with my kids AND be relaxed about it.
My brother 3G was telling us a story this summer how he was talking with a friend in shul on shabbat and the friend had kids in middle school and high school. My brother was commenting how it's nice to be with the kids on shabbat afternoon but sometimes it's long and there is no time to rest or nap. The friend said to my brother how he wished he had that time on shabbat afternoon with his kids now his kids are older and out playing at friends houses and never home. It's like "future 3G" was talking to 3G to remind him to enjoy this time now.
In the TED talk someone tells a story about how he had young kids and they woke up every morning at 6am He and his wife were taking turns with the early morning wake up but getting tired still. The husband said he decided to change his perspective of the early morning situation. He started taking the kids out to the local coffee shop at 6am and coming back at 7am. He found after 2 weeks of changing his routine and his mental space for the early mornings he was in a better mood and enjoyed the early mornings with his kids rather than dreading it. He said that there will be a time when his kids will sleep till 10am or 11am and not want to spend time with him so he wanted to appreciate the time now.
This made me happy. If you slow down and really think about how you spend your time you may even enjoy it more. Hearing these ideas have made me appreciate the slowed down time here in Shanghai. It has allowed me to really enjoy the time with my kids more and find the time to do something for me and worry less about else I should be doing or even could be doing here. We live in this society where we constantly have to be doing something or going and if we are not than we are not productive.
Wednesday, October 21, 2015
October 22, 1941: A Day of Glory
Today my father would have turned 74 years old.
I'm not sure what I can say but that I'm thinking about him extra today and he'd say today was a great day.
I know he would be thrilled with the idea of our adventure in Shanghai. And I am missing not being able to tell him week to week what's happening here. My father was a man who loved history. Today, by coincidence, I scheduled with our latest visitors (my brother-in-law and sister-in-law) the rave reviewed Jewish Shanghai tour. I feel what better way could I honor my fathers memory than to learn about the Jews who found refuge in Shanghai at the end of World War 2.
Time has a funny way of making you feel like something so long ago happened so much more recently. I'm feeling right now that I wish I were 16 again (or 20 or 25) and I could pick up the phone and said "daddddddy you being so annnoying" and hearing him chuckle on the other end of the phone. A lot has changed in the last 8 years in my life and in the life of my family. And obviously it's just going to continue, life goes on and he isn't here to enjoy it (and annoy me). But he's in our hearts and our stories and I'll have a l'chaim of scotch soon knowing my brothers will be doing the same soon (in their respective time zones).
-Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
I'm not sure what I can say but that I'm thinking about him extra today and he'd say today was a great day.
I know he would be thrilled with the idea of our adventure in Shanghai. And I am missing not being able to tell him week to week what's happening here. My father was a man who loved history. Today, by coincidence, I scheduled with our latest visitors (my brother-in-law and sister-in-law) the rave reviewed Jewish Shanghai tour. I feel what better way could I honor my fathers memory than to learn about the Jews who found refuge in Shanghai at the end of World War 2.
Time has a funny way of making you feel like something so long ago happened so much more recently. I'm feeling right now that I wish I were 16 again (or 20 or 25) and I could pick up the phone and said "daddddddy you being so annnoying" and hearing him chuckle on the other end of the phone. A lot has changed in the last 8 years in my life and in the life of my family. And obviously it's just going to continue, life goes on and he isn't here to enjoy it (and annoy me). But he's in our hearts and our stories and I'll have a l'chaim of scotch soon knowing my brothers will be doing the same soon (in their respective time zones).
-Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Sunday, October 18, 2015
Fuxing Park
We spent Sunday morning exploring the people in Fuxing Park near the French Concession area of Shanghai. Below are some of the highlights, the first picture being an attempt to get both kids in a photo together.
Lots of groups of men loitering around together, lots of groups.
Motorcycle meeting crasher
Group Tai Chi
Karaoke, not for beginners
Thursday, October 15, 2015
Tuesday, October 13, 2015
Napping on the Job
I couldn't resist collecting these photos.
Chinese people are efficient at many things, including napping.
Monday, October 12, 2015
What to Expect When Your Expecting...
I am learning a lot of myself and expectations. For my childhood I think my expectations on life was that it's all about me. If I didn't get my way I had a tantrum and stomped off to my room. As a teenager I started to learn that it is more than about me and I started seeing the World as the bigger place that it is today. In my 20's I think I reverted a bit back to my childhood in that I need to find a job, an apartment, friends how can I make myself happy all the time. Once I got married I knew marriage was about compromise and I was in with a partner for now on so clearly it wasn't about me but "us". Most of my life I expected life to be like the movies, painless, easy, happy, fun.... ALL the time.
Spoiler Alert: Life is not painless, easy happy and fun all the time.
The question I started thinking about is how can I make my life less hard. The answer my friends is....lower your expectations. Initially when I started saying this idea out loud "lower your expectations" it sounds like I am requiring less but that is not the case. If you are expecting life to be easy and like fairytale of course when things are not one will be very disappointed. An example, flying with kid: Flying with the kids is not like flying by myself where I can sit back and relax and read, watch movies and sleep. It's not fun or relaxing but I expected that if no one threw up on me, pooped on me, or needed to use their spare clothes than the flight was a success. The flight is a finite amount of time.
By readjusting one's expectations then when things don't go completely as planned one will be less disappointed, it's a fact-I've done research.
Today we started our second attempt at the first day of school. School wasn't working out for us as we had expected so we we made a new plan and today was our first day. I expected the transition to be hard, confusing, and to be met with resistance. There was a roller coaster of emotions expressed by our son even up until the moment we walked into the new school. I expected that if drop-off when ok (by ok I mean tearless) then the day will be great. We live near the school so I knew that if there was a real problem they would call me and I could be their in New York minute. I also knew what capable and confident teachers were there and my gut felt this would not be the case. The day was great. No tears, no tantrums, and we are going back tomorrow. Great expectations.
Spoiler Alert: Life is not painless, easy happy and fun all the time.
The question I started thinking about is how can I make my life less hard. The answer my friends is....lower your expectations. Initially when I started saying this idea out loud "lower your expectations" it sounds like I am requiring less but that is not the case. If you are expecting life to be easy and like fairytale of course when things are not one will be very disappointed. An example, flying with kid: Flying with the kids is not like flying by myself where I can sit back and relax and read, watch movies and sleep. It's not fun or relaxing but I expected that if no one threw up on me, pooped on me, or needed to use their spare clothes than the flight was a success. The flight is a finite amount of time.
By readjusting one's expectations then when things don't go completely as planned one will be less disappointed, it's a fact-I've done research.
Today we started our second attempt at the first day of school. School wasn't working out for us as we had expected so we we made a new plan and today was our first day. I expected the transition to be hard, confusing, and to be met with resistance. There was a roller coaster of emotions expressed by our son even up until the moment we walked into the new school. I expected that if drop-off when ok (by ok I mean tearless) then the day will be great. We live near the school so I knew that if there was a real problem they would call me and I could be their in New York minute. I also knew what capable and confident teachers were there and my gut felt this would not be the case. The day was great. No tears, no tantrums, and we are going back tomorrow. Great expectations.
Thursday, October 8, 2015
From Israel with Love...
After more than 10,000 miles (round trip via Moscow, Russia) we have returned from our 2 week visit to Israel from my amazing 12-year old twin nieces Bat-Mitzvah celebration. It was the first time in nearly 2 years my brothers and I have been together with their wives, kids and our mom. It was, as my 4.5 year old says, F-U-N-O, funo.
I knew coming back from the States that I would be seeing my family again in 4 weeks for the Bat-Mitzvah. It made saying goodbye in August a little easier. I kept forgetting while I was in Israel that I traveled from China not New York. We saw friends and family and they'd ask about China and it was like I had a mental void and felt as if I was traveling from our life in New York. I was like "right...China, that's where we flew from!" The last days together I had to remind myself that we were flying back here and not to New York like my brother.
My kids are way more traveled than I EVER was at their age. My first trip to Israel was the summer of 1996 with USY Italy/Israel Pilgramage. Then I thought I was so lucky that I was finally able to travel to Israel and see the sights and history that I've learned so much about growing up and are such an important part of the Jewish People. Then not knowing, two of my brothers would later move their, get married and have kids and then be lucky enough to travel back for visits and simchas. My kids have already been to Israel twice and they aren't even 2 and 5 yet.
We made in back to Shanghai. Aside from visiting the airport in Russia, I think the jet-lag to Israel from here might be a little easier too. My son did not what to leave. As he said, "everything is so fun here and kosher and my cousins are here."
I knew coming back from the States that I would be seeing my family again in 4 weeks for the Bat-Mitzvah. It made saying goodbye in August a little easier. I kept forgetting while I was in Israel that I traveled from China not New York. We saw friends and family and they'd ask about China and it was like I had a mental void and felt as if I was traveling from our life in New York. I was like "right...China, that's where we flew from!" The last days together I had to remind myself that we were flying back here and not to New York like my brother.
My kids are way more traveled than I EVER was at their age. My first trip to Israel was the summer of 1996 with USY Italy/Israel Pilgramage. Then I thought I was so lucky that I was finally able to travel to Israel and see the sights and history that I've learned so much about growing up and are such an important part of the Jewish People. Then not knowing, two of my brothers would later move their, get married and have kids and then be lucky enough to travel back for visits and simchas. My kids have already been to Israel twice and they aren't even 2 and 5 yet.
We made in back to Shanghai. Aside from visiting the airport in Russia, I think the jet-lag to Israel from here might be a little easier too. My son did not what to leave. As he said, "everything is so fun here and kosher and my cousins are here."
Subscribe to:
Posts
(
Atom
)