Behind the Times

In my need to feel connected to the States and the World, we recently began a subscription to the Shanghai Daily News print edition.  For about 30 cents an issue we get current events in China, cultural happenings and world news.  For all that it really is...controlled news, it is still refreshing to turn the page.  

This morning while my son was playing at a playspace burning off energy I was able to read the paper and came across this photo snipit about a Curves franchise opening in Shanghai. I mean really? Is it 1997? I feel like Curves has come and gone as a quick workout AND a woman's only gym.  Apparently not?  

Sentimentality Deleted?

I know, mostly from all my experience watching CSI, NCIS and Law and Order and from common sense, when you delete an email it is not really deleted forever.

My son is off from school and all he wants to do, most of the time, is stay in the apartment.  Much like my daughter, most of the time I like to be out.  Meeting friends, running errands, exercise, exploring, whatever.  Don't get me wrong, some days it's great to be cozy at home and have a lazy day. But a lazy day with 2 kids is not the same as a lazy 5 years ago for me.  Also staying in all day with an active 4.5 year old get's a bit much after 3 days...

While staying in we have been enjoying my "top rated" and "most frequently played" songs on itunes as background music.  While reading emails at home I ended up looking at my storage space in my gmail.  I had 9GB of 15 GB used of storage. Over the 15GB gmail offers an extended storage at a cost.  So I started deleting my junk mail "permanently".  Spam, store sales, classes offered for my kids, classes ordered for me.  Deleted   My available storage started being freed up.   While my kid is playing spiderman-magnatiles against Darth Vadar-Hot Wheels I have been deleting my emails "for good".

By just deleting the shopping and shul emails I was down to 6GB used.  Do I need my UPS tracking for packages already delivered, 5 years ago? Or Amazon or Google Express tracking?  Those websites for sure track my purchases AND I have my credit card statements if I really needed a reference.

Then I started coming across emails that I had exchanged with people that had key words like "music class" "library" or "diapers" and I started deleting the emails with my friends not just from the Music Together, NY Public library, Diapers.com.  Then I hesitated, I am deleting emails from friends that mark a period in time of what was happening with me.  Then I continued to delete.  Am I not being sentimental? I do have some emails starred and I used to print out emails that I needed but now I feel I am deleting these emails from ever coming up in my "All Mail" search.  I haven't been looking for information in them and there are certainly emails I do not want to recall or re-experience that period in my life. So I wonder what is the big deal?

Yes, right now I have time on my hands to do this right now but I am enjoying deleting the emails and not thinking about looking back. I am now down 6 GB used of 15GB.

Kislev is Coming

I think I might have out Martha Stewart'ed myself and out pinned myself.  A week of mid-term school break for my 4.5 year old and trying to keep busy and festive for the Hanukkah holiday, also my FAVORITE of all the holidays.  See our projects below. Impressed with myself more so because I have yet to find a craft store here and am using whatever I have imported during our initial relocation here. Marshmallow dreidels' to come...

Got Rain?

My son doesn't have school this week, mid-term break.  I had to teach him the term stay-cation this morning.  When I told him that he was on school vacation, he asked "why aren't we going on an airplane then?" So with him home I am trying to take advantage of exploring Shanghai with him.

Last year in New York there was an exhibit at the MoMA call the Rain Room.  Based on a group called the Random International created the experience for people to feel rain. As if walking outside without an umbrella weren't enough? And cheaper!

People camped out overnight to make sure they had a spot in line to see this exhibit.  People waited 8 hours in line to get to experience the exhibit for 20 minutes at max, crowd control.  Enjoy this article from Gothamist and this article from Huffington Post about the lines.  Reading in the paper the buzz about the exhibit but I was in no way interested in waiting in any line to feel rain, no matter how cool people said it was.

Well if you are interested in a 15 hour plane ride, come to Shanghai to the Yuz Museum.  The Rain Room is here and there was no line!  We walked right in and got to stay as long as we wanted.  The rain is controlled by sensors that sense us and the rain stops in the area of our body.  You have to move slowly through the room otherwise you will get wet.  Below are some pictures of our experience.  My son was so scared to walk through so it's just me.  It was definitely cool to experience and I'd recommend the exhibit to anybody visiting Shanghai but I would NOT wait in any line to see it.

See, no line!

Rain selfie

Singles Are You Ready?

Come one, come all....there is still time to board a flight to China and arrive in time for Wednesday November 11, Singles Day. I've heard it's like the Black Friday or Cyber Monday equivalent in America.  Double Eleven ,as the day is also known (11/11),  started in 1993 at Nanjing University as a day for single men to party with other single men but has since morphed into a day for both genders to party together.  In November 11, 2011 (11/11/11) the cyber madness kicked into gear as it was thought to be extra special to have six elevens rather than the normal four elevens.

Better off that I have not figured out how to navigate the Chinese shopping sites nor linked our bank card up to them.  I stick with my summer shopping sprees in the meantime.  But if you do decide to come visit us for Singles Day, Taylor Swift is preforming in Shanghai that night.  Or you could come to China to celebrate Veteran's Days'

Here are some other notable events courtesy of OnThisDay.com

2014 - The leaders of China and Japan meet for formal talks after more than two years of severe tension over a territorial dispute
2011 - 25th Soul Train Music Awards: Cee-Lo Green, Jill Scott win
2008 - The RMS Queen Elizabeth 2 (QE2) set sail on her final voyage to Dubai.
2009 - 43rd Country Music Association Award: Taylor Swift & Brad Paisley wins
2004 - The death of Yasser Arafat is confirmed by the Palestine Liberation Organization, of unidentified causes.
1999 - Last upside down date until January 1, 6000
1994 - Bill Gates buys Leonardo da Vinci's "Codex" for $30,800,000
1968 - John Lennon & Yoko Ono appear nude on cover of "2 Virgins" album
1963 - Gordie Howe ties Rocket Richard's lifetime 544 goal record
1946 - NY Knicks' 1st game at Madison Sq Garden loses 78-68 to Chic Stags
1938 - Kristallnacht; Jews forced to wear Star of David
1939 - Kate Smith first sings Irving Berlin's "God Bless America"
1926 - U.S. Route 66 is established
1925 - Louis Armstrong records 1st of Hot Five & Hot Seven recordings
1923 - Eternal flame lit for tomb of unknown solder, Arc de Triumph
1924 - Martin Beck Theater opens at 302 W 45th St NYC
1909 - Construction of US navy base at Pearl Harbor, Hawaii, begins

In the Meantime

I am still amazed about day to day cultural nuances living in this cultural. For example, in a city of 24 million people and almost a taxi for every person, it's still hard sometimes to hail a taxi.

I'm amazed that, I, can get around not knowing a lick of directions/driving vocabulary. I've learned to use a maps app that shows where I'm going and where I am so I can make sure the driver isn't taking me a more expensive route.

I can cross a street in under 10 seconds. That's pretty good. I'm telling you.

How are so many Chinese sooooo thin when most of their diet is noodles, eggs and soy sauce. Not a stereotype at all. They put egg in anything. As an omelette (obviously), soup, rice, chicken. Is their cholesterol thru the roof?

How much I've learned to pantomime to communicate with those I see everyday. When I came home this morning there 5 men who seemed to be police circled around one of the doormen in our building. I was VERY curious but clearly had no clue what was going on. I go up to our apartment and our Ayi starts asking me did I see the men downstairs and we proceeded to pantomime what we each witnessed and what we thought happened. What I interpreted from my Ayi is that the doorman punched someone in the nose, blood was everywhere out his nostrils and the police slapped him back and forth in front of everyone. Now I have to wait for the English speaking door woman to see which us wins this round of charades.

In the meantime.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Got Chicken?

Got chicken? Lucky you! It's 2015 and I have not been able to buy chicken at the market in 2 weeks.  No it's not 1915 but 2015 and I am clearly not in the United States.  Really when was the last time you went food shopping and were not able to buy a staple to your diet?? I feel like I am living in the old country.

In June I bought about $100 worth of chicken breast.  Don't ask me how many pounds/kilograms that is because I didn't figure it out since it is what it is and there is only one place to buy kosher chicken in Shanghai.  I have no idea of it's a "good price".  It's not like I'll be going to Costco for better pricing.  The June Supply lasted us until about mid September.  We generally rotate between, noodles, fish and chicken.  Rinse and repeat.

Discussing the shortage with my sister-in-law this morning, she started to say well make pizza or mac and cheese....right not really dairy either.  We have cheese in the freezer but we are not big cheese eaters.  We've been fine, don't worry we are not wasting away. But I do feel bad for the kids as I like to make sure they get some hardy protein in during the day.  Chicken-with ketchup is my sons favorite meal.  I'd even try tofu but my husband will not touch it.

Basically I am waiting for the chickens to be "prepared" in Beijing and then they have to be delivered to Shanghai, separated and packaged and then frozen.  Hopefully tomorrow our next batch of chicken will be ready and I won't be making the mistake again and will be getting $200 worth of chicken breast this time.

Yes we have a spare freezer.  

Cook-a, Book-a, Look-a

There is new language in town and it is called Shanglish. It's a unique blend if shanghainese (what Shanghai-born Chinese speak) and English.  Our Ayi speaks Mandarin and Shangainese as her native tongues and knows a little english.  We communicate most by an app called WeChat for important things because it allows both us to translate into our texts to our native tongues.  We also use Pleco, a great dictionary translator app and we pantomime.  Really improving my skills for charades.

She knows the important words: sleep, poop, no, stop, be careful, hot, hold hand to name a few.  After nearly 5 months of spending time with our family she has started a new dialect called Shanglish.  In learning words as she talks to our daughter she says things like "Ayi cooka", "baby showera", "mama goa" and "baby poopa".  I noticed it the other afternoon when our son was talking to the Ayi and he said "Ayi no cleana my toysa upa".

Can I add this language to me resume upon our return? Or is it more like pig latin? In the meantime, our daughter is now speaking  English, Mandarin, Shanghainese and Shanglish.

Helter Skelter

Halloween basically comes from Ireland. It is a Celtic holiday that was to ward of ghosts (*thanks to google for the information). How did it blow up to be such an American sensation with candy, costumes and goblens galore. Pumpkins and apple cider are at least autumnal.  Western Christians brought the holiday to America and over time it has become what it is today and apparently what it is in Asia.

Below are some highlights of the holiday being marked here in Shanghai.

Hasidic Chinese

I feel like I am living in a little bit of bizzaro world.  I come from a culture where we are told to be fruitful and multiple, something my father felt was important to remind us it is our job as Jewish people.  I am not surprised of my friends who come from 6,7,9, even 13 siblings.  The rabbi here in Shanghai is 1 of 17! His mother is truly a woman of valor.

In China everyone seems to know of the governments strict one-kid policy.  I recently learned that local hospitals still don't reveal the gender of the baby to the parents fearing it's a girl they will abort and try for a boy.  I have met a few Chinese people from smaller villages and cities that come from larger families 2, 3 and 4 siblings. They are few and far between.  The rules are getting more lenient in some cities, Shanghai being one of them, they are allowing people to have 2 kids.  But if you have twins then the twins are only allowed to have 1 child when they are adults.

Such a different world than I come from.  Here we are with one boy and one girl. Thank god, we have healthy children, I do not take that for granted for one second. When locals see us they tell is we have the "perfect family", one boy and one girl. They don't ask when is the next one coming, will you have more.  We are the perfect Hasidic Chinese family.  When I see Chinese families with two girls or two boys I wonder what they are thinking about their family gender layout.  Or when I see pregnant women thinking this is their only experience they are allowed to have being pregnant (some might say they are lucky).

With no government dictating our family planning and avoiding the social pressures of having more I will enjoy my Hasidic Chinese family.

*credit for this blog inspiration goes to my friend Jodi F. who is enjoying her
Hasidic Chinese-American family with 2 boys in NYC.

Acupuncuture, Cupping, Endermolgie Massage and more...

Everything is an experience here. Going to the supermarket, getting your hair blown out, crossing the street.  Today I had a first, something I never knew existed until I came to China, endermolgie.  I've had acupuncture, massages and I know Gwyneth Paltrow was into cupping at time.  Today I went with a friend to the Manicure Market.  I've been to the fabric market, the shoe market, the knock-off market but a manicure market? For 10RMB, which is about $1.50 you can get a manicure and for 60RMB ($9.20) you can get a gel manicure.

But I digress.  A friend took me today to a place that had a package and the deal came out to about 80RMB a time. We figured even if the endermolgie doesn't work we get a good massage out of the time.

Endermolgie gist is to rid your body of cellulite and tighten the skin in your body.  The clinicians in the States claim 6-10 treatments and you'll see long lasting results (not forever but long lasting). Heck I was in it for the experience.  What it really felt like? It was like taking a round hair diffuser and attaching it to a vacuum and pressing really hard around your area of interest, whether it be your thighs, stomach or butt.  It felt like a different kind of massage.

I almost forgot one of the highlights! They use an oil that, when rubbed into your skin with the above  machine, makes your body feel like it's on fire. My friend described it as feeling spicy.  I choose on fire.  When they are complete with the vacuuming and rubbing they wrap your legs in saran wrap and send you home.  We are supposed to remove the saran wrap after and hour.

Many of you are probably asking, why would someone pay for this? and for multiple encounters? I do not know but by the time we left there was a line of woman waiting for their appointments and watching mine as it was happening (because we are in the manicure market and they just had curtain for privacy and all the treatment tables are in same room).

Needless to say my legs look like were hit by dozen tennis balls.  Below is a picture of on-lookers waiting their turn and of the treatment advertised online.

Peak-a-BOO!!

Believe it or not, Shanghai celebrates Halloween.  I am a little surprised as I really thought it was a Hallmark Holiday.  Maybe it's the all the ex-pats that brought the celebration over here but China has seemed to embrace the festivities pumpkins, ghosts, candy and all. In a city of 24 million Chinese I can't believe the impact this small community has in the larger scale of the population that it is marketed in stores, restaurants and salons.

The British based school our son is in his having a "Pumpkin-palooza" Friday with a concert and fair to celebrate.  It seems autumn (as my 4.5 calls it not, not fall) has arrived over night. We have been enjoying a long summer with warm temperatures but overnight the temperature has dropped and the puffy coats are out. Guess we are catching up with the cold in the States.  Tis the seasons (says the girl who went to college in Miami).

It is funny to observe the weather exaggerators here in China.  It has literally be 24 hours of cooler weather and the hats, fleece and puffy coats are out.  It's that in-between where it's cold in the morning, warms up and at dusk it cools down again.  Now quiet flip flops but definitely not shorts? The Chinese have taken it to a new level, scooter jackets, hand mufflers it's quiet the scene.  A seasoned expat (no pun intended) told me that it'll rain for 2-3 days and the cold comes with that rain.  Rain is in the forecast tomorrow....

Simply Misearble

I was listening to a TED talk the other morning called Simply Happy from February 14, 2014.  Basically they discussed what makes people happy today and how every seems to be searching to be happier.  One of the speakers said how we are a society of "now now now" and we work fast and hard for a quicker reward which we think will lead to us being happier.  The people in the panel came to the conclusion that if we simply slow down we will enjoy life more and ultimately be happier.

The ideas of "now now now" and slowing down got me thinking. My mom is a very experienced woman. Being a licensed mental health professional, an all around awesome mom and laid back person she once told me just because someone writes you an email, text message or calls does not mean you have to respond right away.  She is right, just because the email or text that is coming in right now is urgent to someone else does not mean it is urgent for me.  But we are in this cycle of as soon as you get an email we have to respond so our inbox is clear.   Taking this suggestion I have slowed down with technology.  While I am still on my phone much of the time, I am trying to be as resourceful and productive for myself that I can be (yes, playing Words with Friends and Candy Crush help with my productivity).

As for the idea of slowing down, I feel like living in China our life has slowed a bit.  For no particular reason, work is the same, the kids are the same, perhaps living in a  foreign country is enough to slow anyone down, even with 24 million people in the city.  Day to day I don't have this sense of urgency to get everything done right away.  I actually have time to workout and take my time and not rush home to turn around and rush to school pick up.  I have more time to read, watch Netflix, face time AND to be with my kids AND be relaxed about it.

My brother 3G was telling us a story this summer how he was talking with a friend in shul on shabbat and the friend had kids in middle school and high school.  My brother was commenting how it's nice to be with the kids on shabbat afternoon but sometimes it's long and there is no time to rest or nap.  The friend said to my brother how he wished he had that time on shabbat afternoon with his kids now his kids are older and out playing at friends houses and never home. It's like "future 3G" was talking to 3G to remind him to enjoy this time now.

In the TED talk someone tells a story about how he had young kids and they woke up every morning at 6am  He and his wife were taking turns with the early morning wake up but getting tired still.  The husband said he decided to change his perspective of the early morning situation.  He started taking the kids out to the local coffee shop at 6am and coming back at 7am. He found after 2 weeks of changing his routine and his mental space for the early mornings he was in a better mood and enjoyed the early mornings with his kids rather than dreading it. He said that there will be a time when his kids will sleep till 10am or 11am and not want to spend time with him so he wanted to appreciate the time now.

This made me happy.  If you slow down and really think about how you spend your time you may even enjoy it more.  Hearing these ideas have made me appreciate the slowed down time here in Shanghai.  It has allowed me to really enjoy the time with my kids more and find the time to do something for me and worry less about else I should be doing or even could be doing here.  We live in this society where we constantly have to be doing something or going and if we are not than we are not productive.

October 22, 1941: A Day of Glory

Today my father would have turned 74 years old.

I'm not sure what I can say but that I'm thinking about him extra today and he'd say today was a great day.

I know he would be thrilled with the idea of our adventure in Shanghai. And I am missing not being able to tell him week to week what's happening here. My father was a man who loved history. Today, by coincidence, I scheduled with our latest visitors (my brother-in-law and sister-in-law) the rave reviewed Jewish Shanghai tour. I feel what better way could I honor my fathers memory than to learn about the Jews who found refuge in Shanghai at the end of World War 2.

Time has a funny way of making you feel like something so long ago happened so much more recently. I'm feeling right now that I wish I were 16 again (or 20 or 25) and I could pick up the phone and said "daddddddy you being so annnoying" and hearing him chuckle on the other end of the phone. A lot has changed in the last 8 years in my life and in the life of my family. And obviously it's just going to continue, life goes on and he isn't here to enjoy it (and annoy me). But he's in our hearts and our stories and I'll have a l'chaim of scotch soon knowing my brothers will be doing the same soon (in their respective time zones).


-Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Fuxing Park

We spent Sunday morning exploring the people in Fuxing Park near the French Concession area of Shanghai.  Below are some of the highlights, the first picture being an attempt to get both kids in a photo together.  

Lots of groups of men loitering around together, lots of groups. 

Motorcycle meeting crasher

Group Tai Chi

Karaoke, not for beginners

Fruits From China's Labor

Napping on the Job

I couldn't resist collecting these photos.  

Chinese people are efficient at many things, including napping.

Bansky selfie

What to Expect When Your Expecting...

I am learning a lot of myself and expectations.  For my childhood I think my expectations on life was that it's all about me. If I didn't get my way I had a tantrum and stomped off to my room.  As a teenager I started to learn that it is more than about me and I started seeing the World as the bigger place that it is today.  In my 20's I think I reverted a bit back to my childhood in that I need to find a job, an apartment, friends how can I make myself happy all the time.  Once I got married I knew marriage was about compromise and I was in with a partner for now on so clearly it wasn't about me but "us".  Most of my life I expected life to be like the movies, painless, easy, happy, fun.... ALL the time.

Spoiler Alert: Life is not painless, easy happy and fun all the time.

The question I started thinking about is how can I make my life less hard.  The answer my friends is....lower your expectations.  Initially when I started saying this idea out loud "lower your expectations" it sounds like I am requiring less but that is not the case.  If you are expecting life to be easy and like fairytale of course when things are not one will be very disappointed.  An example, flying with kid: Flying with the kids is not like flying by myself where I can sit back and relax and read, watch movies and sleep.  It's not fun or relaxing but I expected that if no one threw up on me, pooped on me, or needed to use their spare clothes than the flight was a success. The flight is a finite amount of time.

By readjusting one's expectations then when things don't go completely as planned one will be less disappointed, it's a fact-I've done research.

Today we started our second attempt at the first day of school.  School wasn't working out for us as we had expected so we we made a new plan and today was our first day.  I expected the transition to be hard, confusing, and to be met with resistance.  There was a roller coaster of emotions expressed by our son even up until the moment we walked into the new school.  I expected that if drop-off when ok (by ok I mean tearless) then the day will be great. We live near the school so I knew that if there was a real problem they would call me and I could be their in New York minute.   I also knew what capable and confident teachers were there and my gut felt this would not be the case.  The day was great. No tears, no tantrums, and we are going back tomorrow.  Great expectations.

From Israel with Love...

After more than 10,000 miles (round trip via Moscow, Russia) we have returned from our 2 week visit to Israel from my amazing 12-year old twin nieces Bat-Mitzvah celebration.  It was the first time in nearly 2 years my brothers and I have been together with their wives, kids and our mom.  It was, as my 4.5 year old says, F-U-N-O, funo.

I knew coming back from the States that I would be seeing my family again in 4 weeks for the Bat-Mitzvah.  It made saying goodbye in August a little easier.  I kept forgetting while I was in Israel that I traveled from China not New York.  We saw friends and family and they'd ask about China and it was like I had a mental void and felt as if I was traveling from our life in New York.  I was like "right...China, that's where we flew from!" The last days together I had to remind myself that we were flying back here and not to New York like my brother.

My kids are way more traveled than I EVER was at their age.  My first trip to Israel was the summer of 1996 with USY Italy/Israel Pilgramage.  Then I thought I was so lucky that I was finally able to travel to Israel and see the sights and history that I've learned so much about growing up and are such an important part of the Jewish People.  Then not knowing, two of my brothers would later move their, get married and have kids and then be lucky enough to travel back for visits and simchas.  My kids have already been to Israel twice and they aren't even 2 and 5 yet.

We made in back to Shanghai. Aside from visiting the airport in Russia, I think the jet-lag to Israel from here might be a little easier too. My son did not what to leave.  As he said, "everything is so fun here and kosher and my cousins are here."